Why Dangerous Toys are Good for Kids

Published January 21, 2022 · 9:19 · 165,928 views

About This Video

Van was on a chairlift once, maybe 18 or 19, sitting next to a psychiatrist. In the chair ahead, a kid, maybe nine years old, worked his butt off the seat and dangled from the safety bar, eight or ten feet off the ground. The mom screamed. The psychiatrist yelled at her: you are freaking your child out. Then turned to Van and said: your job as a parent is to teach your children to be masters of their environment, not to fear it.

Four disclaimers before the footage. The boy worked up to these activities over years. Always within arm's reach. Drawn to them of his own accord. Van is not recommending you do this. The drill has its clutch turned all the way down. The bit is dull. The cordless drill builds hand and forearm strength, improves manual dexterity, teaches focus. The danger is the pedagogy. That is the argument, and it will make safety-conscious parents uncomfortable.

Transcript

I was on this chairlift once and I was sitting with a psychiatrist and in the chair ahead of us was a mom and in the

chair ahead of her was her son okay he was probably 9 years old I was I don't

know 19 18 19 we're going up one of those chair lifts that um it's not

really a chair lift it's like a chair lift that you take to get to the chairlift not that high maybe 10 to 15 feet high and I don't know what the

little kid was doing this happens but somehow he worked his little butt off the chair so that he was hanging by the

little safety bar like this the safety bar was under his arms he was hanging like this and dangling off of the chair

it's probably 8 ft maybe 10 ft below it and the mom started screaming my baby my

baby and the psychiatrist I was with yelled at her

mother you are freaking your child out and then he turned to me and said

your job as a parent is to teach your children to be the masters of their environment not to fear

it this video could easily be misconstrued as me exploiting my son for

a YouTube video so I just want to give you four disclaimers number one my son worked his

way up to these activities in the footage I'm about to show you over the course of years uh he's doing none of

these things for the first time two these activities are always

done under extreme supervision usually within Arms Reach number three he was

drawn to these activities of his own accord I did not push him I simply offered him and continue to offer him

encouragement wow nice job bud and four I want to be very clear about this I am

not recommending these activities to you and your three-year-old a few years ago I read this book The coddling of the

American mind and this video is me showing examples of my strategies for raising a confident resilient and anti

fragile child number five the power drill the drill is potentially dangerous because of its torque the bit or the Chuck can get entangled into his hair

and maybe wind up into his head this drill has a clutch that we turn all the

way down to substantially weaken the drill's torque you can see here my two fingers

can seize the Chuck even with the drill at Full Throttle we also set the drill to its

slowest speed before he uses it is there a bit in there also we put a dull Phillips bit in a bit holder with a

spinning collar that won't hurt his fingers if he grabs it the cordless drill builds his hand in

forearm strength improves his manual dexterity and teaches him to focus h

slide it no the other way yeah there's a bit in there and the only time he's ever heard himself with the drill is when he's dropped it on his foot I need TW but he

knows he's supposed to wear shoes in the shop number four sharp scissors here do

you want to trim the tree this one's boring they teach him uh to use scissors in school he's much more careful than

one would expect these scissors can cut fabric they're so sharp but he's never cut himself thank God and uh he stays

pretty focused when he uses scissors number three pop pop boat this

one actually is a toy uh saw one of these in the anime movie Pono this is how it works I think

there's a little boiler that you fill with water we use a baby Tylenol

syringe ball up one square of toilet paper and soak it in rubbing

[Music] alcohol the idea is that the fire boils the water and the steam pops out of these pipes to propel the

[Music] boat it's dangerous because it's a flaming steel boat that chases my naked three-year-old around an enclosed space

I suppose there's a slight chance it could light the shower curtain on fire too and this toy teaches him situational

awareness Focus put it out yes and firefighting uh I'm too big to fit in there number two ladders fences walls and trees

climbing toys this kid's been a climber since basically the womb he was born in the Santa Monica

Mountains right here actually so climbing has been nurtured into him he's wearing that helmet because we

rode our bike to this tree the first time he climbed this

batting cage I honestly didn't think he'd be able to do it so I let him and then he just scaled all the way up to

the roof I'm not going to maybe it's only 8 or 10 ft High doesn't look that high here but it scared the hell out of

me watching him do this when he scares me to death I have to make sure I don't project my fear onto

him and like I said before he's not climbing this batting cage for the first time in this footage and before he

climbed it the first time I climbed it first to check the sturdiness of the

roof nice throw he wanted the balls that were stuck up

there now we have the balls and the number one most dangerous

thing we let him play with fire and my logic is that by allowing my son to experiment with fire I'm hoping

fire will become less and less exciting and exotic to him and eventually just be

in his mind another boring tool that he understands the gravity of and potential of at first when we first started doing

this I held the torch and he aimed it until he earned my trust and before we even did this activity I installed this

wheel on the valve knob so I can kill the propane very quickly if needed and thank God you know we've never had a

problem it's dramatic sure but in my opinion a lot less dangerous than say a

hatchet which he's not allowed to use yet okay so what happened to the kid when the bone comes through the skin

that's called the compound fra just kidding he was fine the kid came to the lower spot skier came helped him off the

lift but I'll bet he never scooched his butt off the seat again this week on the patreon archival videos with director's

commentary on my patreon right there the link is right there

People Referenced

Greg Lukianoff, Jonathan Haidt

Books Mentioned

  • The Coddling of the American Mind

Films & Media Referenced

  • Miyazaki anime referenced

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