When life feels like it's falling apart

Published October 22, 2021 · 5:59 · 173,579 views

About This Video

A chilly room in a mansion where someone has reached out. It's pumpkin season: the boy's favorite. All year it's been jack-o'-lanterns and pumpkin this. Van is in a beautiful house, a beautiful neighborhood of dead ends and well-groomed trees, and the room is clean and tidy and not his.

The video cuts between this present-tense collapse and the last best day of Van's life. Snowboarding in Aspen with his brothers Dean and Casey, all three on the same flight home on January 15, the day an Airbus A320 crashed into the Hudson River on January 15, 2009, and everyone survived. Van started the day snowboarding and ended it on the same model plane. It was the best day of his life. What life feels like when it's falling apart is the distance between that day and this room. It's okay to look at the past, but don't stare.

Transcript

is it always in the fall in the autumn no not always in the fall

in the autumn once it was in july remember that on the day you moved out you had a huge bag with all of your

wardrobe in it and that was happened to be the day that they were moving a refrigerator into the apartment into the building so that the elevator was tied

up with a refrigerator for the entire time and you had to carry this bag down a flight four flights of stairs and then it was the

record highest it was the hottest day of the year also with 100.

but this time it's in the fall in the autumn the boy's favorite season

pumpkin season all year long it's been pumpkin this and jack-o'-lantern that

friends and family support that room now this room

this little room beautiful clean tidy in a beautiful house

in a beautiful neighborhood a neighborhood of dead ends and well-groomed trees

how many nights to suffer through thank god for the motorcycle

thank god for fellowship and brotherhood thank god for the boy

thank god for the pumpkins thank god for bruce springsteen and jimmy cliff do you remember the last best day of your life that's dean this is our last day

together casey what that's our guys so yesterday we hiked all the way up here and snowboarded down here and this is

where dean got really really sick a cool thing we're in aspen colorado and this is a shrine in the woods to a skier

who died who disappeared in pakistan guys pakistan

and by a strange set of circumstances the three brothers are all on the same flight dean is flying to charleston

casey and i are flying to laguardia and it is a beautiful day it must be 45 degrees out january 15th day before my

dad's birthday uh [Music] it should be mentioned that this is an airbus 320 the same kind of plane that crashed today

[Music] earlier today the same model plane that we're on right now crashed into the hudson river just over there

everyone on board survived i started out in aspen colorado

snowboarding this morning and uh a plane crashed into the hudson river

and every single person on board survived and after that happened i got on an airplane and my younger brother was

not supposed to be on it but he was on it with us with me and casey and now i i'm coming home

today was the best day of my life and what life feels like

when it feels like it's falling apart is a chilly little room in a mansion house

where someone has reached out it's okay to look at the past but don't stare

let go but don't close the door listen closely well it seems like i'm caught up in your trap again and it seems like i'll be wearing the

same old chain good will conquer evil and the truth will set me free and i know someday i'll find the key but now i'm trapped you

Products & Tools Mentioned

  • BetterHelp mentions — sponsor

People Referenced

Bruce Springsteen, Jimmy Cliff, Casey Neistat, Dean Neistat

Films & Media Referenced

  • song referenced for emotional state

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