The Struggle of Living in NYC
Published May 06, 2022 · 18:36 · 604,794 views
About This Video
Van lived in New York City for 20 years and left for Los Angeles at 42. This video is 18 minutes of him refusing to resolve the contradiction. Structured as a trial where the prosecution and the defense are the same person. The subway is the worst he's ever ridden anywhere on earth, including Mexico City. The sirens never end. Central Park is just a giant crowded room. He drew a Venn diagram of free time, New York, and money, and named the sliver where all three overlap as the city E.B. White wrote about in Here is New York. His experience was the rest of the diagram. Rich New Yorkers don't spend that much time in New York. The people who stay are the ones the city forges, and forging is not a gentle process. And yet: he met me in New York. He found Tom Sachs in New York. He found his career and his purpose. He references Fran Lebowitz's observation that AIDS killed bohemian New York: the New York of Basquiat, of punk, of the loft era, and locates his own arrival just after that death. He bought Bob Dylan's Chronicles the day he needed to understand how someone builds a life in a city that doesn't care whether you survive. The deeper structural move is that Van treats ambivalence as a form of honesty rather than a failure of conviction. Most people who leave New York either eulogize it or burn it down. Van does both simultaneously, with equal force, and refuses to let one cancel the other. The final line. Los Angeles is my reward. Is doing real work. A reward implies the thing before it was earned, not escaped. He's not running from New York. He graduated.Transcript
If someone were to tell me you can never go back to New York City ever again for the rest of your life I would throw my hat in the air and kiss them on the lips. But I think every American should live in New York City for one year, like the draft. This is my production schedule for the next couple months and about a month ago we scheduled this episode, this New York episode, and yesterday my brother Casey published a YouTube video with he and Candice visiting New York and it's essentially
about their nostalgia for New York and enthusiasm and joy for this city. "Well allow me to retort." I lived in New York City for 20 years. I moved there when I was 22 and I essentially committed to L.A. full-time when I was 42. And I would say in your 20s, and if you're rich, New York is everything that you read about. New York lives up to the New York advertising campaign. There's all the people. There's all the excitement. There's the restaurants. But it's really a place to move to if you have a mission, if you have a mission and part of fulfilling the mission requires you to live in New York City.
Now I'm talking about Manhattan the outer boroughs are fine but I'm talking about Manhattan and many, many people, it's a trope, New York is the greatest city in the world. And while I was living in New York in my late 30s, early 40s having visited many of the great cities in the world I often wondered to myself by what metric? By what metric is New York City the greatest city in the world? There's nothing to do in New York except hang out in rooms and Central Park is just a giant crowded room. Everything has lines, all of the systems, unless you're rich, all of the systems are essentially worthless and broken. The public transit system is broken. The subway system is broken. The streets are constantly being torn up.
I'm not talking about commuting. I'm not talking about going there on vacation. I'm talking about to live in New York. Rich New Yorkers don't spend that much time in New York.They travel all over the place. They're in New York for the great times to be in New Yor, which is the spring and the fall. It rains all the time. It rains almost every day and you're out in New York, you have to bring all your gear with you: in a bag, on your back, in your hands, somewhere. And New York is mostly just traveling around without a car. I was a bicyclist I almost never rode the subway because it is the worst subway I've ever ridden anywhere on planet earth, including Mexico City, including Lisbon Portugal, places that have much less money than New York City. I would say for the end of the time that I was in New York, the last five or six years, you couldn't take a subway ride that required a transfer without
something being screwed, without something not working, without some service not being provided. I was taking notes for this episode and I drew a Venn diagram of: free time, New York and money. And within that little slice of when you're living in New York and you have money and free time, sure, New York is a wonderful place. You can meet your friends at the fancy restaurant
Tina Fey right there and that's my brother like five feet away. That's Steve Martin. Maybe you can go to a show if you booked tickets 35 years in advance and know eight people and did 17 hours of legwork. Or maybe, you know, your favorite band is in town... Who cares? Who cares? Or it's spring or it's, you know, it's the marathon week, it's the Halloween week where they do all the costumes, that's the best time to be in New York. Sure that's fantastic. Or it's spring and the cherry blossoms are in bloom in central park. Sure that's fantastic. That's when you're in New York, you have free time and you have money. My experience in New York was I was always busy.
I was working myself to the bone. And if I wasn't working myself to the bone I was broke. I could eat and ride my bicycle to visit friends. The weather is horrible. People are aggravated. You go and visit there and you're there on the weekend or you're there during a vacation or something. Here come the Yankees. And when I go and visit, I went for a friend's wedding, oh, this is such a lovely city. But when you live there and you're there on the subways in the mornings and in the evenings everyone's super angry. That thing about, oh, New Yorkers are actually very, very friendly. No they're not. They're not. They're not. You know how you know, cause when you talk to New Yorkers, you talk to people from New York, no matter where they go in the world with the exception of New England but no matter where they go they talk about how friendly the
people are. You know why? Because in New York people are miserable and impatient and mean. Okay in all fairness one thing that New York has, it's a very strange power that New York has, but New York is a sort of an emotional reflector. I don't know why, probably because there are so many people, but if you're in a really good mood... Hey man it's so cool. Thank you. I ride a bicycle too. It's a Schwinn. It's not as cool as that one though. Wow. Look at that. Yeah no, you I was gonna say you can go out and then you will see all the nice things and so forth but it's not that it's the negative emotions. If you're in a slightly frustrated mood and you go out you'll just see frustration everywhere because I've tested this. I've done all these tests. I would leave my apartment on 94th and west end avenue then I would walk south on broadway. You know I'd be
going to a grocery store or something and then I would account for the loveliness and how long will it be before the loveliness is gone it was usually two blocks before somebody was like [ __ ] And this is every day of your life. And the sirens and the horns, they never end. And the construction never ends. Wherever you're working or wherever you're living construction is coming and either one of those places: construction. Jackhammer bag bang bang bang bang bang, jackhammers. Sirens, horns, it's inescapable. The subway broke today and it was flooded and the whole city is like this now. Bumper-to-bumper every block, every avenue, every street. And when I first moved to L.A. I had this
tirade. People would be like, oh, so why'd you leave New York? And I would go on this tirade. The Spirited Man is brought to you by: The Spirited Man patreon team. Join our Patreon team at $5/month for exclusive access to archival videos with directors commentary and peer discussions and live streams answering your questions and comments. This New York episode was an idea from one of our patrons. Link in the description. And I think that's why I'm doing this. Someone heard my tirade and said you should do a video about this. I think at the core of what really annoyed me about New York was the fantasy of New York, was the reputation it had. It was probably a reputation that started in 1949 with "Here is New York" by E.B. White. And then was bolstered in the big waves of New York, like during the 70s and 80s with punk rock and new wave and Basquiat.
I heard Fran Lebowitz, whom I love and is one of the reasons why I wanted to live in New York, she said that aids killed bohemian New York. And when I was a little kid and my dad would take the family into New York it what still was bohemian New York, it was pre-aids or it was right at the beginning of aids. And I think it also has something to do with your the age of your body, like you're more resilient when you're in your 20s. When I dropped out of college and moved to New York there were so many kids from school that lived in New York or Brooklyn and it was really wonderful and from them you could branch out and find your people and from them you could branch out and find your jobs. And slowly over the years people moved away. People fell off. People left and it came down to like, I basically had two friends
by the time I was you know 40. There were two of us, three of us, left from the initial moving there. It sort of eats you alive and for me New York City made a man out of me. I want a truck. I want five thousand dollars. I want a new blackberry with all my numbers programmed into it perfectly working. I want it all before I start working. I bought the new theBob Dylan book, his chronicles and uh I told the girl I bought it from I want to see how he did it and she said uh I think the trick is he believed that he was amazing and then I asked her if that was your trip, if that was her trick, and she said yes and I said that's my trick too. And these things I became intolerant of as I got older, they forged me into a much stronger person, a much more organized person. There's no margin for error in New York. And New York really laser
focuses you to be super, super responsible and learning the New York system I feel like was very good for my brain. I'm a lefty. I'm right brained. I'm, you know, I'm very scattered and woo-woo in you know intrinsically that's what I'm really like, and New York forged me into being more of a left-brained systems person and I very, very much needed that. So I would do this thing, by what metric, by what metric? And my friends, the long friends, that are still my friends that I really connected with were the kids who were from New York. Eventually those
are the people that I connected with the most. This movie is called Alex and Van forgot their keys. They're all still there. One of the things I really needle them about is like New York is the biggest townie city maybe in the world, like those kids don't leave they're townies. But I love these kids that are my friends. I call them kids they're all 40 now. But I've lost touch with them and that's a real bummer and you know why the reason I lost touch is because we all got so successful. We all, you know, we live these very big lives and
I happened to be able to go on a vacation with my friend Nev Shulman, who's from New York. We had our kids with us. I had my son, he had his daughter and we went on this dune buggy adventure in Utah. It's about a year ago and we stayed at the New York, New York Hotel in Las Vegas for one night. And I was doing my rant, and he's from New York, and he still lives in Brooklyn now. And he had lived out here and then he moved back with his family and he wasn't being defensive or anything and I don't even know if it was apropos of me ranting about New York but he was talking about the service in Las Vegas and it was really horrible. And then he said, oh,I was with my daughter and we were at this packed pizzeria in Midtown.
We were leaving the pizzeria and I needed a bag and a box. And he said the guy was on the phone behind the counter, on the phone making a pizza taking an order and he looked at me. I didn't say a word to him and he went behind his back grabbed a box threw it to me and then grabbed a bag and handed it to me. The point of the story is how unbelievably intelligent and I would say present New Yorkers are. Hey brother.
I'm gonna miss this. Central park drive is closed for construction so on a bicycle you have it all to yourself, which never happens in New York. And the contradiction is equally valid. I made, you know, my best friends in New York. I met Isabel in New York. I found my career and my purpose in New York. I met Tom Sachs in New York. It's the best place to be when you're in your 20s and the truth is moving to New York City was the smartest thing I ever did. And it made a man out of me. I'd be nothing without New York City
and thank God it's over and Los Angeles is my reward. This week on the Patreon, a livestream answering your questions. The link is right there.
People Referenced
E.B. White, Fran Lebowitz, Jean-Michel Basquiat, Tina Fey, Steve Martin, Bob Dylan, Tom Sachs, Nev Schulman
Books Mentioned
- Here is New York
- Chronicles: Volume One