Small, Fast, Perfect
Published April 29, 2026 · 2:09 · 22,000 views
About This Video
Van Neistat's favorite computer runs on AA batteries, powers on instantly, and does exactly one thing: look up words. The Franklin Language Master, a gift from someone who loved him in 1988, is the subject of this 2:09 clip cut from Long-Form Episode 1. It has about 22,000 views.
The demonstration is a race. Van and a friend look up the same word, "avuncular," at the same time, one on the Language Master and one in a physical dictionary. The Language Master finds it in 7.2 seconds. The paper dictionary takes 21.4. The word itself is the joke and the structure at once: avuncular means uncle-like, in kindliness, and Van is the avuncular gift-giver who hands his nieces candy and his nephew weapons. He built the lesson out of the thing he was looking up.
The point is the design philosophy, not the gadget. A single-purpose tool that boots instantly and never asks to be charged is, for Van, what a computer should be. It runs on AA batteries because, as he puts it in a 12-step aside, "we believe a power greater than the dictionary can restore us to sanity." The Wordly Wise vocabulary curriculum from seventh grade gave him the love of words. The Language Master removed the friction of looking them up. Same argument as How Every Digital Thing Should Work: speed and resilience are a form of respect for the user's time.
What Van Uses: the Franklin Language Master, his pick for favorite computer, running on AA batteries. He sets it against a physical dictionary and the seventh-grade Wordly Wise curriculum that taught him to love vocabulary in the first place. It also appears on his five favorite computers list.
Related: My 5 Favorite Computers, How Every Digital Thing Should Work, Using AI to Live More Analog: Long-Form Ep. 1, and more in analog living.
FAQ
What is the Franklin Language Master?
A handheld electronic dictionary Van Neistat received as a gift in 1988. It runs on AA batteries, powers on instantly, and looks up words far faster than a paper dictionary. Van calls it his favorite computer because it does one thing perfectly and survives without chargers or cables.
How fast is the Language Master versus a paper dictionary?
In Van's on-camera race, the Language Master finds the word "avuncular" in 7.2 seconds. The physical dictionary takes 21.4. He treats the speed gap as the whole argument: a tool that respects your time is worth keeping.
What does avuncular mean?
Uncle-like, especially in kindliness. Van picks the word on purpose. He describes himself as an avuncular gift-giver, the kind of uncle who gives his nieces candy and his nephew weapons, so the word he looks up also describes the man looking it up.
Transcript
My favorite word is avuncular. A v u n c u l a r. Do you know what avuncular means? The u's are the clues.
How about if we pronounce it of-uncle-er? Someone who loved me bought me a Franklin Language Master in 1988. And the Franklin Language Master is my favorite computer. AA batteries because we believe a power greater than the dictionary can restore us to sanity.
Powers on instantly. I got to do it again. Fantastic. In seventh grade, we had a vocabulary curriculum called Wordly Wise. And I loved Wordly Wise.
But hated looking up the words in the dictionary. Let's race. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Language Master. 7.2 seconds. Avuncular: suggestive of an uncle especially in kindliness. 18 19 21 dictionary 21.4 seconds. A: of or relating to an uncle, in other words uncle-like.
In other words, funcle. I love to give my nieces candy and my nephew weapons because I'm an avuncular giftgiver.
This video is a piece of a long form episode that's either linked to in the description or coming out soon. Join a paid tier of the Patreon to get in touch with me or to avail yourself of this channel's alternative universe. You can click this. It'll take you right there.
Products & Tools Mentioned
- Franklin Language Master essential — "my favorite computer," AA batteries, powers on instantly, 7.2-second lookup
- Wordly Wise positive — 7th grade vocabulary curriculum Van loved
- Dictionary (physical) negative (speed) — 21.4 seconds vs. Language Master's 7.2 — lost the race