Bullet 20: Gratitude & Resentment
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About This Video
Bullet 20: Gratitude and Resentment. A Patreon-exclusive numbered entry in Van's "Bullet" series. The tension between gratitude for what you have and resentment for what you lack. The numbered format is a serialized practice: short philosophical reflections, one at a time.
Transcript
bullet 20 gratitude and resentment there's a moment
where you regret it all and you say never again what have I done to get myself into this
you might [Music] okay so this is the artist resentment and gratitude diagram so you have inspiration this is and this is for the pro B artist for the probationary artist the inexperienced artist
project starts with inspiration inspiration to make the thing then you have making the thing
then the probationary artist hits the wall and we all know what the wall is the
wall is like writer's block or the part in the project that you can't
figure out how to fix when he hits the wall or she hits the wall the probationary artist
quits or I need to work on my personal life but I quit oh I need as an excuse there are many reasons to quit there are many reasons to quit but that's one of them so then what happens
he or she they don't get the finished thing they get resentments they resent
quitting they resent the wall they resent the work they resent making the thing and I would argue they even resent
the inspiration okay now the veteran the veteran artist laughs [Music] so I've got to show up right now at aquavella galleries so we've got a second one at their Gallery doing a show of painting an exhibition in Japan a
museum show Korea making a whole series of Rocket Factory painting three projects with a rocket Factory movies for all these web store where we make
bags and t-shirts Nike craft or brand in collaboration with Nike there's 25 people in the team in the studio in New York but we also thousands of people
that we work with The Foundry Phoenix Arizona Portland Oregon and factories around the world fulfilling that project all over the world rocket found in
Europe or South America or Asia or New York or California
[Music] foreign I was talking with Sarah Hoover about this and I was like what the I was I called her allowed two nights ago with what the am I doing here this is so irresponsible because on top of
everything I'm I'm like I'm married and I have a five-year-old son who I love spending time playing with Lego with him
and like swimming in the ocean and playing burn firing things where we light things on fire safely and
I'm not with them and I'm missing his two more weeks of his five-year-old life
the veteran artist so the veteran artist makes the is that is that okay let's see
I can write on this yeah makes the commitment okay
starts with preparation the veteran artist commits
prepares and that's when the veterans artist resentment
begins [Music] Man Overboard almost that one really sucks foreign artist has been through this before many many times
he does not resent the wall which he knows is coming the veteran artist welcomes the wall
he does not resent the Heat or humidity or the exhaustion the veteran artist resents
the distractions distractions from the trance of working
with his hands of thinking with his hands distractions that prevent him from working on the thing he resents the time off task
that small talk burns up so small talk and meetings travel
small talk and meetings the veteran artist resents resenting the distractions
the distractions after all are for him for the veteran artist
the distractions so-called Bowie is extraordinary and fortunate
five-star first class life the distractions pay admission for the
work so more work so the veteran artist hits the old familiar wall so he works and he works and he's he sleeps and he works and he works
until he gets his breakthrough through inspiration wow
yeah well true well said he finishes the veteran finishes and the veteran Upon finishing feels a sense of gratitude gratitude for
the finished thing for the Breakthrough for the inspiration maybe not for the wall for the work but maybe not
gratitude for the resentment for the preparation and for the commitment without finishing you do not get the Gratitude
[Music] and the probationary artist is left with only resentment and the more he quits or she quits the more
resentment piles up until he or she quits for good
and doesn't make the commitment and that's it right
[Music] so I I believe as I did in the beginning of the commitment in the virtue of this I'm just pissed
off because I'm in the middle of it and talking like to you as if I never wanted to do it and that's right I regret every
minute of it I resent this and I'm pissed off but I'm not gonna give up and I think the important thing is that
this feeling does not go away it's in every project it is part of it it is a requirement and
the difference here is that both people have it just that these people finish and these people quit and
these people eventually get the Gratitude and these people have only resentment [Music] foreign [Music] [Laughter] [Music] [Music] [Music] foreign
Products & Tools Mentioned
- Nike Craft mentions — Tom Sachs collaboration
- Lego mentions — referenced
- Rocket Factory mentions — Tom Sachs project
People Referenced
Tom Sachs, Sarah Hoover, Aquavella Galleries