AMERICANS IN BERLIN 2003: DARIUS
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About This Video
Americans in Berlin 2003: Darius. Part of the documentary series Van filmed starting September 11, 2003, profiling Americans living in Berlin. Van was 28, working on Tom Sachs's installation at the Deutsche Guggenheim. The series captures a pre-social-media era of international creative migration, when Berlin rents were cheap and the city was still figuring out what it would become.
Transcript
oh my God in 2003 I lived in Berlin as part of Tom Sax's nsis installation at
the Deutsche Guggenheim I was 28 years old and I had a social life there and through friends I met a bunch of
Americans who were living in Berlin at the time this was 2 years after September 11th 2001 and I began filming
these interviews on September 11th 2003 hi darus mhm so how long have you
lived here I've lived here five years five years yeah and where did you come
from I lived in New York mhm mhm so you came directly from right right right
right um is the camera on yes okay why are you doing this project um we're
doing this because I don't know if you're e dropping the talking to Paul but I'm here for um like a museum
exhibition just completely independent of this project and my brother and I are a film making team and I knew when I came that I was going to be here for 4
months yeah yeah and the thing that immediately hit me when I was here was the number of Americans that that are in
Berlin coupled with the fact that I don't feel like anyone including myself knows about that and I'm just trying to
figure out like what it is is it just cuz it's such a cool town and that there's so much going on and you
can feel a little bit more free or is there something more or you know whatever yeah what's your background as a
filmmaker I um I went to college to be a writer which college I went to William
and Mary in Virginia yeah yeah and um I was a writer for two years and then I started working for Tom Sachs this
artist and um oh what what kind of writing did you do I wrote for a Children's Science magazine uhhuh and I
wrote the science experiments every build all these experiments and that's how I got the job mhm but um so you were
a science writer yeah so but I didn't know anything about science you know yeah you didn't know anything about science did you know anything about
writing uh I don't think so I mean that's I think writing is the hardest
thing there goes your mic can you guys but um yeah I think writing is the hardest
thing because all you need is a pencil like all these things like film making where you have all of these layers of kind of papier-mâché to work with
papier-mâché meaning you know how papier-mâché you start with wire and then you put the paper mâché on yeah and then you paint it so you have all these
layers that if you [ __ ] up on the first layer maybe you're not good with the wire and you're great at the papermache part you know you can kind of make up
for it what's see wi and paper m a metaphor 4 um just because I realized that when I
was at won Christmas I was too poor to buy presents so I just made everybody Pap hermé lamps mhm so where are you
from I'm from Connecticut but I live where in Connecticut New London yes I'm from Connecticut too
actually yes I grew up in New Haven okay okay yes I know New London you're talking like nuclear submarines and
[ __ ] like that and what was that there was some super movies that were Mystic Pizza yes of course really
Roberts DAV yeah yeah MH so in my film background is I got a
box full of um videotapes from when we were kids home movies yeah and the iMac
DV came out um and the Sony TRV 8 came out the same year and I had a big tax
turn that year and I spent my money on that in order to digitize and edit those videos from when we were kids and then I just started you know shooting stuff and
playing around and um I think this something I'm really interested in okay
so you you found all these Americans here in Berlin and one of them yeah obviously um
you wanted to know why um there were all these Americans here in Berlin because of
I just want to know why why no no why don't you know about I know why don't we
no yeah okay um well I'll leave it at that for the moment okay why are you
here why am I here cuz um I grew up in New Haven um do you know
New Haven do no I mean real I don't know no no really like if you know yeah it's
Southern Connecticut it's like Yale University okay like Yale University is
like this ivy league like Think Tank um thing okay um I came up during the
period may we can [Applause] see this well of hide this in there secret agent sty there you go okay I came up during
the period of 1970s which is like the Black Panther Party Black Panther Party do you are you
aware of that I don't know enough about it are you are you aware of the fact that there was you you're from
Connecticut like how old are you 20 20 um I'm sorry um okay like in the
1970s in 1970 okay there was like this huge demonstration in New Haven for Bobby seal and a number of other members of
the Black Panther Party there's a murder trial okay
um Bobby seal was accused of giving the orders to kill this police inform
okay um and he was freed all right but you have to understand that New Haven at that particular time attracted like a lot of like rather interesting
people um Jean Jan spoke there during the May Day rally on the New Haven green 1970 okay I was like a student in this
sorted Prep School okay that no longer exists um that particular summer I learned a lot of things about
American culture American politics panther party you know subversive organizations things like
that subversive organizations I should add that are of
interest to um left German culture all right um I didn't get along with a lot of those organizations because I came up in a background of artists and intellectuals and [ __ ] like that
right um and as a result you know know it's the whole thing was like you know like you were supposed to have this hive
mind about you know certain kinds of subversive or leftist
thinking okay um I didn't conform to that you know I was like independent
which is an American thing you know in terms of like the early
guys who rebelled against the British you know this is they they said [ __ ] the British you know we're going to be
independent from them um I in turn you know like I became very cynical about America the United States in the early 60s because I'm basically I'm a child of the 60s
you know the Civil Rights Movement you know watching um the
southern sheriffs and things like that beating up on black people who
basically wanted to be able to enter like w washrooms
bathrooms to um sit next to white people that didn't mean [ __ ] to me but
personally at the time you know it was just the fact that people needed to see this you know that that
that that there had to be like equality you know um that's the first thing all right like there was a certain cynicism involved um because of my
involvement with the Black Panther Party because of my involvement with like the youth international party uh the yippies okay
you know Jerry Ruben I hate Jerry rubman Abby Hoffman who I love
um that was very cynical about American culture and politics okay uh because of
my involvement my phone my telephone was bugged by the FBI the New Haven Police
Department things like that you know because you know like as a high school student I would um you know like
organize workshops and things you know to educate people about what we thought was going on in the
culture all right um at the age of 15 because of the cultural and political
situation in the United States I wanted to leave I didn't have
the means to do that I didn't know where I was going to go um
the place you know at the time I thought to go was Amsterdam I don't like Amsterdam I've been there now since I've
been living here in Europe um I thought you know Amsterdam was place to G because of like the drugs and
the sex and blah blah blah you know I mean I'm 15 years old you know pre puberty and like you know I going to get
me some and get high right anyway um so that's where I thought I'd
eventually end up um for a number of years you know I lived the so-called Bohemian life I've done some things like what I've
written I've published excuse me I've published three books um one called
negrophobia another called that's black exploitation and last called voodo to
okay I'm a writer um I've been able to support myself up until about two three years ago from my writing okay after September 11th all of that went down to
toilet why uh because uh the people who were spending a lot of
money in big magazines you know the the the advertising the advertising for big magazines like fell out that's what pays the salaries of our freelance
writers okay you know they stopped doing that and so as a result because that money wasn't there I wasn't able to get
M you know work as a freelance journalist so it wasn't that you were was it that you were wrting
subversive pieces and that's why they didn't want they figured they'd lose the advertising I don't know I mean i k spe
writing subversive things or I no I of course of course you know in in
terms of corporate context all right because those are the people who rule culture right now there is no pop
culture in America anymore there is no popular culture I
mean it's all like corporate culture it's it's it's like you know um whatever
that stupid [ __ ] is on MTV and you know Survivor and whatever spin-off shows
they've come up with I don't know I have not seen American television before since I've left well
no that's not true can you give me an exam I hate to interrupt you but can you give me examples of things that you were writing then that you were living off of
that you the market I wrote a book called negrophobia I wrote a book called no no I mean as a freelance writer for advertis for for for for I I wrote a
piece okay the last piece I wrote was on um Johnny
Depp he did a movie uh called from Hell which they shot in PR okay and I went
into a whole thing about like um fascism and concentration camps and American relationships to that um being a black child in the 60s like
finding out about concentration camps and like you know laws you know uh things on the the books of the United States that you know pre-sag like the Patriot Act you know
being put into con you know and being put into concentration caner few subversive you know blah blah blah
things like that right um yeah I mean the things that I do what
I do with satire I do do do satire and make fun of societies and I
okay what don't lose your Rhythm cuz you're really on
fire I'm going to have smoke with you all right so the thrown out of sh um so what the hell were we just talking about oh we were talking the
last thing we talked about was the last piece that you wrote um yeah before the whole
Fallout so after that now what have youve been doing is this a camera on yes yeah okay um you know like I'm just finishing I
just finished off Book for a small German Marxist publisher here um
about Christmas again it's highly cercal about current American
politics um do you find that the marketplace is um interested in that here I know I talked from an American point of view but um the the thing is is
that Germans are far more interested here which isn't necessarily much
because it's a small Market than the American Market but then again the American Market doesn't
read you know they don't buy books um you know like publishing New York Publishing House wisdom is is that you know like first published
novels don't earn back their Advance you know um so there are like
tons of books that are published tons of books that are
great um that aren't read you know they they they'd like wither and die all
right one of the reasons why I moved here it's not the the the central reason
Reon why I moved here but one of the reasons is is that I know people read here and they
discuss that's a big difference for me you know it they discuss on a human and
communial level as opposed to a media level you know it's not about
like what the collective Hive mine of um public media in the us is thinking it's like individuals speaking collectively you know which is which can be difficult you
know if you are on the bad end of that but it can also be very rewarding I
mean that's what I like about living in Berlin okay you have
when you're talking about living outside the US and being in Berlin Berlin is
very different from the rest of Germany you know um I wish that wasn't true but it
it is you know like if I go outside of Berlin my experience is going to be very
different like and terms of having to deal with stupid like issues involving
racism I don't have those issues when I am in Berlin okay and I'm only saying
that for Berlin cuz like I'm talking about Berlin now cuz
we're talk we're in Berlin um but there are cities like you know
Hamburg and and um hurg uh brayman you know which are very different they're Northern German cities you know I don't have those kinds of
problems I have like you know ideological problems there but I don't have like problems in terms of dealing with
racism um if I were an African or an Arab or something like
that it might be another story but as an American although I'm black I don't have
those problems you know where in Hamburg I'm sorry in in in Hamburg and in Breman
you don't have them or you do no I don't have them no I don't have those problems I don't have those problems you no
Northern Germans are generally consider to be different from
Southern Germans Southern Germans Southern Germans are strange in
the head or at least in terms of my experience okay uh Southern
Germans if they're left or strange in the head uh possibly Southern Germans
who are not left left who have not encountered in you know my social
dealings um are racist like I mean basically the reputation that Germany has for being like this racist Jew killing like you
know nation and blah blah blah is something that belongs to Austria those people are
not right they are incorrect okay um no they're I mean I've just like had horrible experiences in Austria you know
um can you think of any for us I mean I'm obviously I'm exaggerating
for the camera um basically my experiences are like stupid conversations about
race um stupid incidences on the street you know like when I walk with my girlfriend who obvious you know who is not
um of the same race as I am okay you know she's tall and whatever
um you know they see us again together I get like these bizarre looks from them which are clearly
racist um I realized one night there was this particular Park in Vienna where all the heroin addicts hang
out now um like if you're mugged by a heroin addict and you defend yourself you would think that you know you know you would be seen as in the
right but because like all the heroin addicts in the [ __ ]
Park were white right um you would have problems you know like they would come up with some [ __ ] right I mean it's that that was like one of
the things I realized about Austria you know like if I like went off on like one of the junkies man who came off on me
it's like [ __ ] you you know don't [ __ ] with me and don't talk to me whatever you know I
would be in the wrong that's how like um Austrian please
think good I mean that that that was the thing I've had that goodbye take care you
have and it's just obvious so in Berlin it's not an issue no it's not an issue all that immediately or was it something
that no it's not you know immediately I mean come on I like grew up in America
all right in America race is a [ __ ] issue all right race is not an issue in
Europe as stupid as that might sound to you people it's true okay which is why
all your like black entertainers came over here and had a career way back at the turn of the century okay yes they
have problems with exoticism and [ __ ] like that but race isn't really an
issue if of course you're an American so when we left off
um you were talking about um the I think the last decade we left was maybe the
60s and you said you moved here five years ago have you what happened between those 35 whatever years that's a long
story okay well we got plenty of tapes that's yeah yeah you got plenty of tape and it's cheap but anyway let me see what
happened you know um in high school I was arrested for burning a
flag okay no you know you know I come from that generation I was arrested for burning a
flag um there was a lot of noise about that um I went to an alternative college named friends World College was a Quaker
School um and then I moved to New York City you know with the intention of being a writer the idea
being that I was going to survive as a writer you know nothing else I didn't
leave myself any options um I met a bunch of other writers I met
Publishers I met editors um and eventually so I apologize sorry no problem and I eventually began a career as a wrer wrer
I mean this was after 10 years of being homeless in the80s okay I wrote some things for the
Village Voice a publication I do not like now um I wrote lots of sural sceds um a lot of pornography um and you know a lot of stuff you know
that that that combin serialism and pornography that that had like a
political meaning you know because of the pornography and the politics you know the because of the
pornography people miss the politics okay um my life in York as it's apparent from the other interviews I've like heard you do this evening you know it's
like you know it was about like trying to pay the rent in New York trying to live in New York you
know um I was doing more I was doing work that I did not believe in I didn't care
about you know to to pay my [ __ ] rent what's that about you know the thing I
came to I've written about this um I wrote about the first time I be became aware of Berlin you know which was a m Riot
[Music] and the impression I got over American television despite like American television American Media was that you know these people were about something you know they were committed you
know and when my first novel was published I was brought here to Germany to promote it you know was published
here in Germany um and I met a lot of people who made me feel like intellectually alive felt like a human being they
treated me with respect you know there weren't like racial issues
um which can piss me off but I've learned how to deal with
them can I just go back um yeah yeah you can go back you um I before I came here I read um understanding Power by Nome
Chomsky and he mentions um just very quickly he mentions uh the Quakers mhm
and he the impression I got was that he agreed with a lot of what they stood for now do you think and I don't know anything about the Quakers but just that
was like kind of a key word for me now do you think that um your college exper like it was a Quaker College M do you
think that that woke up to be more in touch with like um I I don't know what to to to question
the American system or to to put some kind of steam into these instincts that you had when you were you know 15 and
burning flags and so forth can you talk about that a little the Quakers yeah it wasn't necessarily like you know because
I was like like sympathetic to the Quakers and because the school that I went to it was like the Quakers the Quaker religion was not an important issue for
them them the issue for them was like training a culture
of activists you know um it was like for them what was important in terms of re education was that if things were not
right in the society or culture that you were living in that you would feel a responsibility to change that okay
apparently and mean I don't know about Quakers because I never went to their like religious things I maybe like went
once you know the entire time that I was associated with the college
um their whole thing was training activists people who had an education and whatever
feel that they were interested in and would apply them to social
problems you know that was like because of my experience in high school you know with the Panthers you know that was cool to me you know that that was where I wanted
to go you could do that in the states at that particular time you can do that now
you know um no one's listening now I understand that which is why I'm
[ __ ] here you know which is why I can publish my work here and people are listening yes so what I I don't want to
be like too big picture but do you feel that there's any kind of Hope For America other than of course there's
[ __ ] hope for America you think this [ __ ] chimpan Z that is that is running your
government is going to last no I mean there too many [ __ ] no
um America is a great country who produced too much stuff culturally you
know that that that that that that that that the entire world like responds to and
imitates you know these people are not going to last
they're not going to last so if they last there's something wrong with you
but um is there anything that yeah I'm like is there anything interesting going on in America that I have no [ __ ]
idea something that may happen there there are there I mean you know there there are like these political groups or
whatever you know um you know the these and I don't know I don't know I have not been in America I've been readings like
some of the press you know I you know I read like you know like you know Alternet and the Village Voice
and New York Press and like all these like alternative news source I don't know what's going on in the United
States I know like from things that I get from people that I correspond with via
email that they're angry and that they're doing things you
know um I mean come on all right we produce Elvis presling for God's sakes all right you think some [ __ ] like George Bush Jr is going to destroy America no uhuh
people all over the world all over the world respond to Elvis Presley they dance to this
man okay I'm happy to hear you say that because the kids that we've been talking to today have
um they have a very um kind of I would say a helpless kind of uh uh mentality
about the whole thing like I left because I didn't want to contribute to that mess and I didn't
feel like I there was something I could do see that's see no see that's another
problem that's a problem of like the left the fact that these people have not been educated they don't know the
[ __ ] history of like like activists in like the US you know I mean it's like you talk to
like European leftists okay they know their [ __ ] history you people do not know your history learn that you know
there are like great people there are great things that have happened you know despite how hopeless things might seem
all right um I mean I've been able to apply that to my own personal situation okay I
don't live anywhere at the moment you know I don't have any [ __ ] money I can't you know it's
like I'm in a [ __ ] up situation okay but it's like you're confronted with death okay you don't have any money you don't have anywhere to
live um you have hey say you have AIDS all right you learn how to adjust to that situation you know and you do not under
any circumstances give up hope regardless of what is going on in your
life you know because if you do mean you like surrendering to those like evil forces that are undermining your [ __ ] culture your
life like what makes like America great all right you know yeah I talk a lot of
[ __ ] about America about how [ __ ] up it is but I believe in that you know like I mean they're great things I mean
like Little Richard okay rock and roll rock and roll is a great thing make you people happy tap dancing all that stuff you have a great culture what about beyond the culture
what cult beond what do you mean the cultural great things politically we
have great food but but that's culture too um I can't find Fried Chicken in
[Laughter] Europe yes thank you so what do you say to the kids who are here now cuz you're the you're the oldest person you're the only black person I think that we've talked to and you're the oldest person that we've talked to
and we've already heard about I mean we we we're going to you know we wanted the black point of view we have that and we
now we need like the the shaman point of view I'm sorry I'm not a shaman all right I'm not like like trying to than
us I mean you what old old old look I see that that's a whole other thing you don't understand in terms of like like
how like the culture works you know it's like like you grow up in the culture you
know you still feel like you're 15 years old when you're like 50 all right but you have so much more to go with you have so much more to work with yeah okay
the thing I need to say is is that like [ __ ] that stupid opportunist [ __ ] in terms of like getting swallowed up by
MTV you know no I mean the kids here yeah that that's the same [ __ ] thing
all right Berlin is easy Berlin I mean it's like you've done New York and I've done New York all right I have done New
York all right okay I am yes I will say this I am the best [ __ ] reader spoken word artist if you prefer that city has ever seen all right
um to do um to like go the MTV route to try and turn yourself into a [ __ ] commodity is [ __ ] you know be a [ __ ] artist you know be about
something you know an artist is like about revolutionary ch
whatever side of the coin you might find yourself on right or left okay CU I know
a lot of you like talk a lot of pretentious like [ __ ] about being leftist and your fact [ __ ]
fascist you know you're about the money you're about the money and you're about control you know which is again why I
left you I mean basically we were performing in these spaces that were filled with
junkies and cokeheads and alcoholics and whatever who would harass us okay and so
we had this we developed the style of reading that commanded their attention Okay so that that they would listen to us so we could
get through our [ __ ] right um that particular style was imitated and then transformed into the New York spoken word style you know like
new Ean and all that other [ __ ] all right um okay terrific man thank you that was
really valuable it was really good glad to talk to you no problem
all right so guess we got to leave you now CU we're opportunist at capitalist Bas yeah yeah I
understand but very cool let me just take this I need to
keep I've never met anyone affiliated with the Black Panther like this place is like filled with them you don't know the story thank you man what's the cop show off okay I'll vouch for you yeah
Products & Tools Mentioned
- iMac DV mentions — computer used for editing
- Sony TRV 8 uses — camera used for filming
People Referenced
Tom Sachs, Darius James, Bobby Seale, Jean-Paul Sartre, Noam Chomsky, Abbie Hoffman, Jerry Rubin, Johnny Depp
Books Mentioned
- interviewee's novel (by Darius James)
- book referenced (by Noam Chomsky)
Films & Media Referenced
- Johnny Depp film referenced